Tiger V Food: Ep.1 Cheeburger Cheeburger!

Last Saturday me and JB (every time I write that, Tenacious D plays in my head) were watching reruns of Travel Network's Man v Food show. For those who aren't familiar, Man v Food is a show that follows host Adam Richman across the U.S. as he visits different towns/areas. Adam picks some of the most famous/delicious/dangerous meals in that town, and attempts to inhale it each episode.

Anyways, after watching a few episodes our egos had an appetite. We thought "Hey, we're big dudes, we can totally handle some of these food challenges!" After a decent amount of research we came across a few eating challenges here on Long Island that may be worth going for. To start small, we decided to visit a spot called Cheeburger Cheeburger. I had been to a CC once before when I was about 14 in Florida and fell in love, so when I discovered there was one in the area, I totally caught a chub and dragged JB along for the experience.

CC has that "Malt Shoppe" type of motif going on - old-fashioned neon signs, those metal stools with the red leathery cushions you see in those diners in movies, etc. Not a huge establishment, but definitely enough seating to accommodate for large rushes and crowds, maybe a little squeezed together.

When we are seated, the girl serving us gives us a breakdown of how their menu works. Basically, there are 5 different patty sizes, and the largest is called "The Pounder." After you pick a patty size, there's about 25-30 DIFFERENT TOPPINGS you can put on this burger. Not impressed? what if I told you ordering one of each topping on the menu wouldn't make the cost of your burger any different? YES. IT'S TRUE. Basically, you can order as many toppings as you'd like on the burger, from Peanut Butter to Grey Pupon, and they will NOT charge you any additional cost for those specific toppings. There are a select few that have additional cost, but those aren't even part of that list. They do not have hamburgers on the menu, however they don't mind cooking a cheeseburger with no cheese.

Don't want a burger? CC has a wide variety of non-burger items on their menu, from Portabella dishes to chicken wraps. Even their non-burger orders can have as many of those toppings as desired in any weird combination.

Thirsty? 60+ different flavors of milkshakes/malt beverages that can be COMBINED IN ANY WAY/FLAVOR. 16 soda flavors that can also be combined and mixed any fucking way you want! They also offer iced tea and lemonades in those same flavors. what.the.fuck.

So after about 15 minutes of contemplating, thinking, and just being amazed as to the types of toppings they offered. We made our orders:

C. Bass - "The Pounder" with Banana peppers, Salsa, Ketchup, Lettuce, Tomato, and Pineapple (think I missed some). Cookies n Cream milkshake.

Gandhi - Semi-Serious with Lettuce Tomato, Mayo,Ketchup, Old Bay Seasoning, Teriyaki Sauce, and Onions. Cherry/Pineapple combo of soda flavors.

So, if you eat "The Pounder" you get your picture taken with the giant burger and it's posted on their wall of fame. C. Bass was the second black man to defeat this gargantuan burger in this specific location. Not only did this guy eat it, but he DEVOURED IT in almost 2-3 minutes. The girl was baffled as to where the burger went since she had just served us merely 180 seconds prior to her return. Astonished, she got on the loudspeaker to announce to the patrons that Kimbo Slice had defeated the beefy beast. 1st round knock-out, son.

Visit their website to find the nearest Cheeburger Cheeburger in your area, and even order online if you just want to pick up!